Why Parents Are Choosing Homeschooling
Across the country, more families are pulling their children from traditional schools, citing mounting concerns about school violence and the toll it takes on their children’s mental health.
The shift toward homeschooling has accelerated dramatically since 2020, but the reasons have evolved. While pandemic disruptions initially drove families to explore home education, today’s homeschooling surge stems from deeper anxieties about school safety and children’s emotional wellbeing. Parents who never imagined teaching their own children are now restructuring their entire lives to make homeschooling work.
Understanding the Current Climate
The numbers tell only part of the story. Active shooter drills have become as routine as fire drills in many American schools. Children as young as five practice hiding silently in darkened classrooms, learning to barricade doors with desks. These drills, meant to prepare students for potential violence, often trigger lasting anxiety in children who struggle to process why such preparations are necessary.
I spoke with a friend who is a senior psychologist who has seen a sharp increase in school-related anxiety disorders. “Children are internalizing these safety protocols as evidence that school is inherently dangerous,” he explained during our conversation. “They’re not wrong to feel this way. The constant vigilance required creates a baseline of stress that interferes with learning and social development.”
Beyond active shooter concerns, parents report their children experiencing anxiety from daily security measures: metal detectors at entrances, security guards in hallways, locked classroom doors, and restricted bathroom access. These precautions, while intended to enhance safety, create an atmosphere of perpetual threat assessment that many children find overwhelming.
Making the Decision to Homeschool
The choice to homeschool rarely comes suddenly. Most parents I’ve interviewed describe a gradual accumulation of concerns that eventually reaches a tipping point.
If you’re considering homeschooling due to safety concerns, start by documenting your child’s current struggles. Keep a simple notebook where you record anxiety symptoms, school avoidance behaviors, sleep disruptions, or physical complaints that seem linked to school stress. This documentation helps you assess whether these issues are improving or worsening over time.
Next, have honest conversations with your child about their school experience. Ask specific questions: “What parts of your school day make you feel worried?” “When do you feel safest at school?” “What would need to change for you to feel better about going to school?” Their answers often reveal concerns you hadn’t anticipated.
Financial and Logistical Planning
Before withdrawing your child from school, create a realistic financial plan. Calculate the income loss if one parent stops working or reduces hours. Factor in curriculum costs, which typically range from $500 to $2,000 per child annually, plus additional expenses for supplies, field trips, and enrichment activities.
Many families discover creative solutions to financial challenges. Jennifer Martinez, a graphic designer, negotiated with her employer to work remotely with flexible hours. She homeschools her two children in the morning and completes client work during their independent study time in the afternoon. Other parents form cooperatives, sharing teaching responsibilities to allow part-time work schedules.
Creating Structure Without Replicating School Anxiety
The goal isn’t to recreate school at home but to build an environment where learning happens naturally, without the anxiety triggers your child experienced in traditional settings. Start slowly. If your child associates formal learning with stress, begin with interest-led activities that don’t feel like “school.”
Design a daily rhythm rather than a rigid schedule. Morning might include collaborative learning when energy levels are highest. After lunch, shift to quiet reading or independent projects. Build in plenty of outdoor time and physical movement throughout the day. This flexibility allows you to adjust when anxiety surfaces rather than pushing through it.
Create designated learning spaces that feel distinctly different from traditional classrooms. Use comfortable seating, natural lighting, and allow your child to personalize their area. Some children work better on the floor with cushions; others prefer standing desks or exercise balls. The physical environment should signal safety and comfort, not institutional learning.
Addressing Academic Concerns
Parents often worry about maintaining academic standards while prioritizing emotional wellbeing. The key is recognizing that anxious children struggle to learn effectively regardless of the setting. By reducing anxiety first, you create conditions where genuine learning can occur.
Choose curriculum materials that align with your child’s learning style and current emotional capacity. If traditional textbooks trigger school-related anxiety, explore alternative resources: documentary films, educational games, hands-on experiments, or literature-based learning. Many homeschooled children actually accelerate academically once anxiety decreases because they can focus on learning rather than managing fear.
Track progress through portfolios and practical demonstrations rather than tests. Have your child create projects, write stories, build models, or teach concepts back to you. These assessment methods provide rich evidence of learning without the performance anxiety associated with traditional testing.
Building Social Connections Safely
Critics of homeschooling often cite socialization concerns, but families fleeing school violence seek different social experiences for their children. The goal isn’t to replicate school social dynamics but to foster healthy relationships in lower-stress environments.
Start with small, structured social activities where your child feels secure. Library programs, art classes, nature groups, and sports teams provide social interaction without the intensity of all-day school exposure. Many communities have active homeschool cooperatives offering everything from science labs to drama clubs.
Virtual connections also play a valuable role. Online classes, gaming groups, and video chat study sessions allow children to build friendships without physical safety concerns. These digital relationships often transfer to in-person meetings once children feel ready.
Managing Your Own Anxiety
Parents choosing homeschooling due to safety concerns often carry their own trauma and anxiety about school violence. This emotional burden can unconsciously transfer to children if not addressed. Establish your own support systems: connect with other homeschooling parents who understand your concerns, consider counseling to process your fears, and practice separating your anxiety from your child’s needs.
Develop strategies for discussing current events without amplifying fear. When school violence incidents occur, acknowledge them honestly but focus on the safety of your current situation. Help your child process their emotions about friends still attending traditional school without suggesting those children are in constant danger.
Legal Requirements and Documentation
Each state has different homeschooling regulations. Research your state’s requirements through official education department websites rather than relying on social media information. Most states require some combination of: notification of intent to homeschool, curriculum documentation, attendance records, and periodic assessments or portfolio reviews.
Withdraw your child properly from their current school to avoid truancy issues. Submit written notification to both the school principal and district superintendent. Request copies of your child’s academic records, including transcripts, standardized test scores, and any special education documentation.
Maintain organized records from the beginning. Create both digital and physical files for attendance records, curriculum receipts, examples of completed work, and any required assessment results. This documentation proves educational progress and protects your family legally.
Long-term Considerations
Homeschooling doesn’t have to be permanent. Many families successfully transition back to traditional schooling once safety concerns are addressed or anxiety decreases. Others discover that homeschooling suits their family long-term, continuing through high school graduation.
Regular reassessment keeps your decision responsive to changing needs. Every few months, evaluate what’s working and what isn’t. Is your child’s anxiety decreasing? Are they engaging with learning? Do they miss aspects of traditional school? Adjust your approach based on these observations rather than adhering rigidly to initial plans.
Consider gradual reintegration if returning to traditional school becomes appropriate. Some children benefit from starting with partial days or specific classes before resuming full-time attendance. Community college courses offer another transition option for older students, providing classroom experience in a more mature environment.
The families in my community who’ve chosen homeschooling for safety reasons report profound relief alongside natural challenges. Children who once dreaded mornings now eagerly approach learning. Parents discover teaching capabilities they didn’t know they possessed. While homeschooling requires significant adjustment and commitment, for families escaping the anxiety of school violence concerns, it offers a path toward both educational success and emotional healing.
Further Reading: Coalition for Responsible Home Education – Getting Started Guide
